RUSS ABBOTT
(UK, two Top 40 hits, one top 40 album)

Balding light-entertainment comedian best known for harping on about how he loved a party with a happy atmosphere, which stormed the Top Ten in 1985, three years after "A Day In The Life Of Vince Prince" thankfully failed to get anywhere near the big time. Stick to being a fat bloke and cavorting with Bella Emberg. Then again...

Biggest Hit: "Atmosphere", No.7, 1985
Defining Moment: "And Frankie's got his band...hooor!"

GREGORY ABBOTT
(US, one Top 40 hit, no Top 40 albums)

American one hit wonder with "Shake You Down" ("and the way you make me feel inside"), a soulful, jazzbar-type ballad which had been cornered years earlier by Barry White and would never, ever rival the God of Love. Rumour has it he decided not to shorten his name for fear of being mistaken for a bruising Bradford City midfielder of the time.

Biggest Hit: "Shake You Down", No.6, 1986
Defining Moment: None whatsoever.

ABC
(UK, nine Top 40 hits, four Top 40 albums)

Ah, this is more like it. The official number in personnel varied, but yer man Martin Fry was the charismatic front focus of one of the most respected (and certainly most underrated) New Romantic acts of them all, with credibility soaring skywards once the blokes-in- make- up phase had passed.  Lovingly crafted, unpretentious pop songs and sparkly suits in their shamelessly tacky videos guaranteed minor A- list status, just behind their fellow Sheffield emigrants Human League. "The Look Of Love" ("then your dreams fall apart at the seams") (from the outstanding 1982 "Lexicon Of Love" No.1 album) always seemed to be the favourite, though when Radio 1 DJ Gary Davies bastardised the instrumental as his closing theme tune, the appeal waned, unsurprisingly. Clung on to relative success admirably to 1987, when the plinky-piano led "When Smokey Sings" ("elegance in eloquence - for sale or rent or hire") hit number 11, though managed a last gasp at the arse-end of the decade when "One Better World" ("making big bucks - is that enough?") somehow peaked the wrong end of the Top 40 in 1989. Fry's polished voice and the band's confidence to make full use of all the bizarre sounds emerging from the decade's newest synthesisers earned them major fondness, and they re-emerged to co-headline a tour with the League and Culture Club in 1998. Shoot that poison arrow, but take your time and listen to Martin.

Biggest Hit: "The Look Of Love", No.4, 1982
Defining Moment: Gold suits. Fantastic, they were.

PAULA ABDUL
(US, two Top 40 hits, one Top 40 album)

Hmmm, she really wasn't too good a singer was she? And from what we remember, she more or less admitted it herself. Progressed from the safer world of choreography to parading semi-provocatively as a second Janet Jackson with more easy-on-the-eye features, but nowhere near as strong a voice. She played a major part in the mainly shoddy, chuckaway sound of 1989 with debut hit "Straight Up" ("don't know which way to go") and also continued the trend of thanking God constantly on all single and album sleevenotes. Had the Head Honcho upstairs really given a toss, he would have given her a voice that didn't sound like an irony-devoid Little Jimmy Osmond. Abdul made real money with her undoubted skills as choreographer for Michael Jackson et al, though her singing career lasted not beyond 1991. Huge in America, mainly laughed at here.

Biggest Hit: "Straight Up", No.3, 1989
Defining Moment: Singing with a cartoon cat, albeit in 1990.

COLONEL ABRAMS
(US, two Top 40 hits, no Top 40 albums)

Who the hell taught this guy to dance? Massive success in 1985 with "Trapped" ("can't you see I'm in a cage?") complemented by military uniform and THAT shoulder-shuffle during the synth riff, which got the pre-pubescents on TOTP on top-drawer whooping form. Fashioned the wide-caterpillar moustache long before Saddam Hussein, which arguably was why he only managed one more entry into the Top 40, with the  forgettable "I'm Not Gonna Let You (Get The Best Of Me)", which pleasingly, we did. Suspicions are that he was never a Colonel.

Biggest Hit: "Trapped", No.3, 1985
Defining Moment: Making shoulder-pads for men semi-cool. Briefly.

 ARTHUR ADAMS
(US, one Top 40 hit, no Top 40 albums)

We know bugger all about this guy. One song scraped as far as No.38 and then his singles career appears to end. The song was "You Got The Floor" so maybe he now writes ad jingles for Allied Carpets. Being called Arthur may have been a mistake, frankly. Hindsight is beneficial.

Biggest Hit: "You Got The Floor", No.38, 1981
Defining Moment: Er....

BRYAN ADAMS
(Canada, three Top 40 hits, three Top 40 albums)

Vertically-challenged Canuck now instilled into the hit-list of many a Right Said Fred fan from his career-salvaging Robin Hood theme which topped the charts for 16 bloody weeks in the summer/autumn of 1991, yet his success in the 80s was very limited, possibly because everyone bought the outstanding 1985 album "Reckless" and ignored the singles. Taste was varied, however, as his finest work - "Summer of '69" - is cited as one of rock's great singalong tunes yet it never sold enough to hit the Top 40, though A&M should take responsibility for allowing the public to bore of Adams by releasing the comparatively-insipid "Somebody" and "Heaven" before we got to know about that first real six string and how often he played it. Adams first came to the fore with "Run To You" (turned into a dance anthem by Rage eleven years later, ho ho) which stuck at 11 for four weeks and was helped/hindered (delete as appropriate) by a video which had the delectable Playboy-fodder and "serious actress" Lysette "Coloroll. Of course." Anthony, er, running to him (not him to her, despite the title) as he twanged his guitar among a seasonally-confusing shower of autumn leaves and winter blizzards. Once he promised that everything he did he would do it for you (and ruined just about everyone's enjoyment of the film), Adams rarely looked back and is now arguably at his strongest since he started out, even duetting with mix-guru and hardcore wheel-spinner Chicane on 1999's "Don't Give Up" and provoking no rumours of sexual chemistry at all with Mel C when the two paired up for the typically-defecatable "When You're Gone". He still wears denim jackets, and his mum came from Huddersfield. Sort of Greg Rusedski in reverse.

Biggest Hit: "Run To You", No.11, 1985
Defining Moment: Knocking over a barrow load of fruit in the "Summer of '69" vid.

ADEVA
(US, three Top 40 hits, one Top 40 album)

Forever assured of her place in the anorak section of the Guinness Book Of Hit Singles, this ultra-skinny American clone of Grace Jones was one of the many mediocre stars-in-the-making which the Great British Public chewed up and spat out during the turbulent months of 1989. A cover of "Respect" kicked it all off with some cultural nerve and heresy difficult not to admire, followed by the turgid "Warning" and the rather cheery "I Thank You" ("for showing me the way!") before the dumper and the session career beckoned. And why is she in that famed anorak appendix? All three of those hits made No.17. Life is now easier to live for knowing that.

Biggest Hit: "Respect", "Warning", "I Thank You", all No.17, all 1989
Defining Moment: Dim recollection of wearing tight leather catsuit on TOTP, despite having no figure at all.

ADVENTURES
(UK, one Top 40 hit, one Top 40 album)

Bog-standard but pleasantly melodic group who managed to scrape the 20 with the piano-led "Broken Land" ("they breed mistrust and fill my heart with dread") but frankly, they should have done better. All four other single releases peaked way too low, as did the outstanding 1991 comeback "Raining All Over The World" which was A-listed by Radio 1 and still got nowhere. Shame.

Biggest Hit: "Broken Land", No.20, 1988
Defining Moment: Can't think of one, really.

AEROSMITH
(US, one Top 40 hit, two Top 40 albums)

Yeah okay, so they've been around for ages and have taken more drugs than HM Customs & Excise, but this is about actual chart success. Therefore we can only concentrate on the multi-censored "Love In An Elevator" (complete with "going down" and "tossing" innuendoes) ("lovin' it up 'til I hit the ground") and the tremendous rock-meets-rapjamboree with Run DMC on "Walk This Way", for which they graciously gave away all the credit. Until Mr Tyler got in the lift, they were purely a cult metal band who spent half their lives in their own vomit or a coma, but they have managed to hold on to some element of mainstream popularity since and are now on the radio every three hours with the weepy and unsettling "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing", from the soundtrack to some poxy Bruce Willis flick. They are now clean, loved-up family men who are big fans of Steps. It's true.

Biggest Hit: "Love In An Elevator", No.13, 1989
Defining Moment: Tyler grabbing and yanking his imaginary penis in the video.