SALT 'N' PEPA
(US, three Top 40 hits, one Top 40 album)
Numerically-challenged girly rap triumvirate (Salt, Pepa and Spinderella) whose
sassy, shoutypants Yank drawls over scratches and tepid samples very briefly
sounded good in '88. "Push It/Tramp" got to No.2 on a re-release with
an unethical hip hop murdering of "Twist And Shout" making No.4. They
had a decent time of it in '91, but their decision to release a Greatest Hits
album that self same year (after only two more Top 10 hits) was naive. Still
together and still touring, though their chart activity has been non-existent of
late. Simon Mayo famously stopped their hit "Let's Talk About Sex"
after the line "y'know Pep, no-one's gonna play this on the radio", at
which point he removed the CD and said "You're right. We're not." Cue
laughter and news jingle.
Biggest Hit: "Push It/Tramp", No.2, 1988
Defining Moment: "Shake it up baby now..."
SANTA CLAUS AND THE CHRISTMAS TREES
(UK, two Top 40 hits, no Top 40 albums)
We won't waste too much time or brain cells on this. Self-explanatory
dressing-up-for- Christmas stuff for two years in a row, with
"Singalong-A-Santa" and "Singalong-A-Santa Again" both
reaching the Top 40 in December '82 and '83 respectively. The first got to
No.19, the second to No.39, which is testament to how bored or ripped off people
felt twelve months on. Novelty wears off very quickly sometimes. Who they were
we don't know, nor do we give a shit.
Biggest Hit: "Singalong-A-Santa", No.19, 1982
Defining Moment: None whatsoever.
SAXON
(UK, five Top 40 hits, eight Top 40 albums)
Hugely-influential forerunners of the early decade's influx of new wave heavy
metal bands whose albums sold bucketloads while still enjoying a comparatively
decent flirtation with the singles charts. Gruff-larynxed singer Biff Byford and
his stooges certainly made more effort than their peers to get mainstream
airplay by releasing fifteen singles between '80 and '88, the first of which was
"Wheels Of Steel" ("we've got wheels, wheels of steel")
which made No.20 and also title-tracked one of the genre's most loved long
players. The follow-up did better, with "747 (Strangers In The Night)"
("strangers in the night going nowhere") hitting No.13, and three more
inroads into TOTP countdowns followed. They didn't get into the Top 40 again
between '83 and '88 but the familiar police badge/eagle/pointed 'S' logo kept
adorning many a massive metal album until the inevitable split occurred. Recent
legal wrangles over two splinter bands have kept them in the spotlight, with one
bearing the original name, the other going under the moniker of Saxon
(Featuring...). The likes of Metallica constantly pay homage to them.
Biggest Hit: "And The Bands Played On", No.12, 1981
Defining Moment: Front covers.
ALEXEI SAYLE
(UK, one Top 40 hit, no Top 40 albums)
Fat, bald, bolshie and very, very left-wing leading light of the early 80s
so-called alternative comedy boom ("Hello, I'm Alexei Sayle and I'm an
alternative comedian - I'm not funny") who disbanded his anti-capitalist
principles by getting into one of his stage characters to release the madcap
"Ullo John Gotta New Motor?" ("Is there life on Mars? Is there
life on Mars? Is there life in Peckham? Is there life in Peckham?") in '84
for a shameless bit of cash-generating. Memorable footage of Sayle in tight grey
suit pulling the steering wheel off a car in the TOTP studio and rolling around
the floor moronically still gets regularly retrieved from the archive locker.
Sayle was to later blast his pals from the Young Ones (Sayle was the boorish,
monologued Balowki family, including the house landlord) for making the Comic
Relief collaboration with Cliff 
Richard, on the grounds that he wasn't
anti-charity, but was anti-charity if it furthered your career. Still an
acquired taste - screamingly funny at times, impossible to keep up with more
often - he is also the king of the advertising voiceover and is growing old very
ungracefully. The song was later bastardised by an audio-visual company for an
advert which went 'Hello Tosh, gotta Toshiba?".
Biggest Hit: "Ullo John Gotta New Motor?", No.15, 1984
Defining Moment: "They put me in a special 'ospital, they put me in a
special 'ospital..."
SCARLET FANTASTIC
(UK, one Top 40 hit, no Top 40 albums)
Nothing much springs to mind here. Bloke and bird shared vocal duties on one '87
hit called "No Memory", coincidentally enough. Got any more for us?
Biggest Hit: "No Memory", No.24, 1987
Defining Moment: None yet.
SCREAMING BLUE MESSIAHS
(UK, one Top 40 hit, no Top 40 albums)
The hit was called "I Wanna Be A Flintstone" which suggests novelty
value, but we suspect a heap of shoegazing irony here. Don't know any more. Do
you?
Biggest Hit: "I Wanna Be A Flintstone", No.28, 1988
Defining Moment: None yet.
SCRITTI POLITTI
(UK, four Top 40 hits, three Top 40 albums)
Essentially a one-man project with squeaky blonde bundle Green Gartside
employing a changing gang of stooges as back-up on some gentle,
thought-provoking and very friendly hits. It started slowly back in '81, as the
gorgeous "Sweetest Girl" failed to chart (though Madness would later
do a successful cover) and it wasn't until early '84 when the jaunty "Wood
Beez (Pray Like Aretha Franklin)" ("each time I go to bed I pray like
Aretha Franklin") got him to No.10, with the heavy-duty synth backing later
re-packaged as a Radio 1 news bed selection. "Absolute" came next
("absolute on power drive") which was as gentle and as late-night as
they come, before Gartside threw his guitar over his shoulder and went reggae in
'85 with the horizontal "The Word Girl" ("the first time baby
that I came to you, oh I do things that you want me to") which gave him his
biggest hit, reaching No.6. One more in '88 was to come, the dripping "Oh
Patti (Don't Feel Sorry For Loverboy)" before Gartside's healthy if sparse contribution to the decade
was wrapped up. Careful, engaging and thoroughly hummable, Scritti Politti
remain one of the most underrated acts of the 80s, and Gartside is still
plugging away with new albums and arena tours.
Biggest Hit: "The Word Girl", No.6, 1985
Defining Moment: "Oh how, your flesh and blood..."
