SPEAR OF DESTINY
(UK, one Top 40 hit, three Top 40 albums)
NONE TOO PRESTIGIOUS seminal-punk outfit led by a Johnny Rotten soundalike who released ten singles between '83 and '88, with only "Never Take Me
Alive" puncturing the Top 40 threshold in '87, making No.14. Little more need be said.
Biggest Hit: "Never Take Me Alive", No.14, 1987
Defining Moment: Mediocrity.
SPECIAL AKA
(UK, one Top 40 hit, one Top 40 album)
ESSENTIALLY the Specials without Terry Hall, but still containing the ultra-crucial protestative political hammerings via music of Jerry
Dammers. The one hit was the trillalong "Nelson Mandela" ("his body abused
but his mind is still free, are you so blind that you cannot see?") which made No.9
(at a time when Margaret Thatcher was still saying Mandela should have been executed) and, although its message didn't come to life for another six
years, had far more worthiness and impact than a banning of Del Monte grapefruit juice from the refectory at Derby Polytechnic. It also brought
about the appearance of the most popular T-shirts of the decade. Dammers is still worshipped as a dedicated wrongrighter of popular music, and deserves
every compliment he receives and more.
Biggest Hit: "Nelson Mandela", No.9, 1984
Defining Moment: "Are you so blind that you cannot see, are you so deaf
that you cannot hear, are you so dumb that you cannot speak?"
SPITTING IMAGE
(UK, two Top 40 hits, no Top 40 albums)
THE DECADE'S premiere satirical swipe via cruel rubber puppets always featured a closing, swipey song at the end of each episode, and it was only
a question of time before one such song would get an official release. So in the summer of '86, "The Chicken Song"
("hold a chicken in the
air, stick a deckchair up your nose") got a waxing, digging unsubtly at the mind-numbing
antics of Black Lace. With perennial theme composer Philip Pope putting a jolly melody to Grant and Naylor's berkish poetry, it flew to No.1 and, in a
nice twist along the way, stopped Patti Labelle and Michael McDonald getting there instead. Deliberately as irritating as hell, but funny at a time when
Spitting Image, even to those it sent up, could do no wrong. Smash Hits memorably got cartoonist Kipper Williams to draw caricatures of each
activity suggested in the chorus. A rather lame second release appeared for Christmas '87 called "Santa Claus Is On The Dole", which we'll skate
over. It remains a great shame that the show (which broke the mimicking careers of
Steve Coogan, Harry Enfield and Alistair McGowan) was absolute shit when it finished.
Biggest Hit: "The Chicken Song", No.1, 1986
Defining Moment: "Skin yourself alive, learn to speak Arapahoe, climb
inside a dog, and behead an eskimo..."
SPLIT ENZ
(New Zealand/UK, one Top 40 hit, no Top 40 albums)
BRIEF, BRILLIANT pre-Crowded House feetfinder for the Finn brothers, whose one hit was the outstanding "I Got You"
("I don't know why
sometimes I get frightened") before the re-think produced that superb follow-up group
from the mid decade onwards. Exceptional stuff.
Biggest Hit: "I Got You", No.12, 1980
Defining Moment: "I got you, and that's all I want..."
SPLODGENESSABOUNDS
(UK, two Top 40 hits, no Top 40 albums)
WOEFULLY SHITE duo-gender bunch of jumping 'comedy' idiots responsible for "Simon
Templar/Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps Please" and a shocking, wankrock version of "Two Little Boys", also flip-sided. We
refuse to elaborate.
Biggest Hit: "Simon Templar/Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps Please", No.7, 1980
Defining Moment: Dickheadishness.
RICK SPRINGFIELD
(Australia, one Top 40 hit, no Top 40 albums)
DULL, CHEEKBONED Aussie whose brief foray into hit paradedom was the tepid "Human Touch" in '84, which was never capitalised upon. Not one of
Australia's better gifts.
Biggest Hit: "Human Touch", No.23, 1984
Defining Moment: Averageness.
