BARBRA STREISAND AND BARRY GIBB
(US/UK, one Top 40 hit, no Top 40 albums)

NASALLY CHALLENGED big deal superstar meets chief testicle-squeezee of the Bee Gees (whose lack of a previous solo career renders this entry permissible) on "Guilty" in '80, which only got to No.34 and makes all and sundry wonder why they bothered.

Biggest Hit: "Guilty", No.34, 1980
Defining Moment: "Woman In Love" and "You Win Again".

BARBRA STREISAND AND DON JOHNSON
(US one Top 40 hit, no Top 40 albums)

SAME PRINCIPLE to above, in that Miami Vice's jacketsleeve-shortener Johnson had his first (and, blessedly, only) taste of Top 40 hitdom alongside Streisand on "Till I Loved You", which was theme to something called Goya. We don't know anything about it, but given Johnson's rejection by the HMV customer under his own, lonely name, we'll say it wasn't much cop.

Biggest Hit: "Till I Loved You (Theme From Goya)", No.16, 1988
Defining Moment: "Woman In Love" and white jackets and sneakers.

STUTZ BEARCATS AND THE DENIS KING ORCHESTRA
(UK, one Top 40 hit, no Top 40 albums)

WE DON'T know who the dual-gender combo called Stutz Bearcats were, while the Denis King Orchestra is considerably easier to pigeonhole. The tune was "The Song That I Sing" which, you've guessed it, was a soundtrack. It came from We'll Meet Again which was a TV proggy about US airforcemen stationed somewhere rurally on our green and pleasant land, but our apathy prevents us from finding out more.

Biggest Hit: "The Song That I Sing (Theme From We'll Meet Again)", No.36, 1982
Defining Moment: Nope.

STYLE COUNCIL
(UK, fifteen Top 40 hits, six Top 40 albums)

GENTLER POST-JAM project of Paul Weller, who was slated at the time for losing his morally-inspired anger at all things to the right, but is now feted for finding a trait with which he could be seen as a good guy really, while still spilling the vitriol. Recruiting ex-Merton Parkas keyboardist Mick Talbot as his sole stooge, the debut single "Speak Like A Child" appeared in '83, with an instantaneous proof contained within it that Weller had musically softened up. No more angst-ridden vocals, few cranky guitars, but still the credibility which had made Woking's favourite son such  a noticeable, unique superstar. He could do wibbly too, as "Long Hot Summer" ("no matter what I do, no matter what I do") slinked its way through a gorgeous bass-led opening and allowed Weller to put politically-unmotivated emotion into his voice. It got to No.3 and wouldn't be bettered. In '84, following the less instant "My Ever Changing Moods", the gorgeous "You're The Best Thing" ("I might be a king, steal my people's things") went, flip-sidedly, to No.5 and is still played on prisoners-corner type late night love features, even though Weller put himself in the position of a Thatcher-crony when penning it. "Shout To The Top" ("I was halfway home, I was half insane, and every shop window I looked in just looked the same") was next, another backlash at the busting Britain and allowing Talbot to show off his exceptional piano skills with a thumping riff which remains one of the most catchy ivory tinkles in pop history. Weller grew his hair a bit in '84, and contributed to the Band Aid single, before '85 came along and "Walls Come Tumbling Down!" ("we don't have to take this crap, we don't have to sit back and relax") cantered to No.6, exposing Dee C Lee's tremendous backing vocals and starting the hotly-denied rumours that she and Weller were in a bunk-up. By '86 Weller (who always chewed-gum incessantly during TOTP mimes) appeared to be getting bored a touch, and only one more Top 10 hit would emerge before he chucked in the towel in '89. Now married to Lee and seen as a trendsetter for thousands of top bands, he is renowned for classic songwriting and has no more political axes to grind, and this long shelf-life in the 80s is catalogued (almost) as importantly and highly as the Jam. A legend.

Biggest Hit: "Long Hot Summer", No.3, 1983
Defining Moment: "You're the best thing that ever happened, so don't go away..."

STYX
(US, one Top 40 hit, one Top 40 album)

SOFT-ROCK Yanks of difficult-to-pronounce name and just one defining hit, the airplay of which is still remarkably regular on the old medium wave.

Biggest Hit: "Babe", No.6, 1980
Defining Moment: "Babe I love you..."

SUNFIRE
(US, one Top 40 hit, no Top 40 albums)

NOT THE FAINTEST idea. The hit was called "Young, Free And Single" so we're sure Gary Davies probably turned it into a theme tune during his medallion-man phase on Radio 1. Anyone out there to assist?

Biggest Hit: "Young, Free And Single", No.20, 1983
Defining Moment: None yet.

SURFACE NOISE
(UK, one Top 40 hit, no Top 40 albums)

INSTRUMENTAL TYPES who did something called "The Scratch" in '80 which we fail to recall. We'd like to know more, so if any fan club members are out there, drop us a line.

Biggest Hit: "The Scratch", No.26, 1980
Defining Moment: None yet.

SURVIVOR
(US, two Top 40 hits, one Top 40 album)

MIDDLING SOFT-ROCK tribe from the States who will always get airplay for as long as TV stations dig out that movie of Sylvester Stallone in boxing gloves, drinking raw eggs at five in the morning. "Eye Of The Tiger" ("rising up to the challenge of our rivals") got to No.1 in the summer of '82 as the film took hold of the world's psyche. They had one hit wonder status written through them like a stick of rock, so it was a fairly pleasant surprise to see "Burning Heart" ("just about to burst") reach No.5 out of nowhere in '86, even though the song was nothing more than average.

Biggest Hit: "Eye Of The Tiger", No.1, 1982
Defining Moment: "Duh! Duh-duh-duh! Duh-duh-duh! Duh-duh-duuuuuuuuuh..."

SWANS WAY
(UK, one Top 40 hit, no Top 40 album)

BLACK-JACKETED duo of slight weirdness whose one hit was "Soul Train" in '84, which we sort of remember but aren't quite confident enough to quote from. We'd like some help.

Biggest Hit: "Soul Train", No.20, 1984
Defining Moment: None yet.

PATRICK SWAYZE
(US, one Top 40 hit, no Top 40 albums)

HAIRSPRAYED HUNKSTER of Hollywood, who capitalised on his wet-knickers status from Dirty Dancing by releasing a dirge called "She's Like The Wind" in '88, which has been re-labelled She's Got The Wind by many a wackytastic DJ ever since. Still gets gold airplay, and featured vocals from the unknown (both then and since) Wendy Fraser. Roll on Ghost.

Biggest Hit: "She's Like The Wind", No.17, 1988
Defining Moment: Pelvic thrusts and parquet floors.

KEITH SWEAT

(US, one Top 40 hit, no Top 40 albums)

UNSURE on this one. The name is familiar, the song, titled "I Want Her", is not. It was '88, which goes some way towards our mitigation for ignorance. Look for the e-mail address if you are a Sweatette.

Biggest Hit: "I Want Her", No.26, 1988
Defining Moment: None yet.

SWEET DREAMS
(UK, one Top 40 hit, no Top 40 albums)

NOT A CLUE here. One hit called "I'm Never Giving Up" in '83, which they clearly did afterwards, judging by the lack of follow-ups. Let's see your assessments of this lot. All we know is that they were a dual-gender vocal-only combo.

Biggest Hit: "I'm Never Giving Up", No.21, 1983
Defining Moment: None yet.

SWEET PEOPLE
(France, one Top 40 hit, no Top 40 albums)

WE'RE BEING a bit shit here, really, as we don't know this lot either and our heads are duly hanging in shame, as a No.4 hit called "Et Les Oiseaux Chantaient" should be more recollectible. The less-educated got a bracketed translation (and the birds were singing) on the title, and it was re-released in '87 with hardly anyone noticing. We're tentatively guessing at a Eurovision connection. Who knows more?

Biggest Hit: "Et Les Oiseaux Chantaient (And The Birds Were Singing)", No.4, 1980
Defining Moment: None yet.

SWEET TEE
(US, one Top 40 hit, no Top 40 albums)

CRAPLY-NICKNAMED Yank rappette from that heap of pop rottenness that was '88. The hit was a double A-side called "It's Like That Y'All/I Got Da Feelin'" which were as shoddy as the titles hint, and very nearly didn't make it.

Biggest Hit: "It's Like That Y'All/I Got Da Feelin'", No.31, 1988
Defining Moment: Utter mediocrity

SWING OUT SISTER
(UK, four Top 40 hits, two Top 40 albums)

MOODY, MELODIC trio led by vampirish glamour-vocalist Corinne Drewery (jet black hair, huge red-glossed lips, enormous grin, black gloves) whose attention-grabbing presence rendered her two male stooges anonymous, just like all other female-led bands. They were the in-thing of '86 when the magnificent debut hit "Breakout" ("you've got to find a way, say what you want to say, breakout") flew to No.4, helped by an outstanding brassy hook which galvanised the song from start to finish. The follow-up "Surrender" ("just waiting for love to take revenge for that sweet surrender") consolidated their new found status by reaching No.7. The corresponding album proved their worth, as "It's Better To Travel" topped the album charts, yet for some reason unbeknown to us, it all went belly up from thereonin. Our guess is that the way popular music had moved on so drastically (and not for the better) by the time they re-emerged in '89 that they were considered dated. Two more only-just hits, including the excellent "You On My Mind" ("searching for a perfect ending that we'll never find") in '89, were the ashes of a career that promised so much and started so brightly, yet achieved so little.

Biggest Hit: "Breakout", No.4, 1986
Defining Moment: "Don't stop to ask, now you've found a way to make it last..."

SYBIL
(UK, two Top 40 hits, no Top 40 albums)

NOW BEST remembered for her collaboration with producers West End on a jazzed-up version of "The Love I Lost", Yank squealy type Sybil had a slow-motion start to her pop career with two so-so hits in '87 and '89, the more widely-known of which was the re-entered "Don't Make Me Over", which scraped into the higher half of the Top 40. The 90s saw that combo with West End, plus a saucier version of "Walk On By" and the absolute wank that was "When I'm Good And Ready". Also-ran of the most average kind.

Biggest Hit: "Don't Make Me Over", No.19, 1989
Defining Moment: Insignificance.

SYLVESTER WITH PATRICK COWLEY
(US, one Top 40 hit, no Top 40 albums)

DISCO GLASS-SHATTERER meets instrumentalist (whose previous lack of chartdom renders this duet passable for us) and records something called "Do Ya Wanna Funk" in '82, which almost didn't make it. Thousands of disappointed discoheads immediately reminded themselves of "You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real)".

Biggest Hit: "Do Ya Wanna Funk", No.32, 1982
Defining Moment: Try 1978.

DAVID SYLVIAN
(UK, two Top 40 hits, three Top 40 albums)

MOURNFUL BLONDE vocalist whose post-Japan career was drizzled with brain- numbingly positive dirges and pretentious references to his Polaroids and spooky fetishes. The two hits were arty and heavy, thereby making them impossible for anyone under the age of 25 to listen to. That said, "Red Guitar" ("it's the devil in the flesh, it's the iron in my soul") got to No.17 and was a brilliant listen, if only in exceptional circumstances, such as just before being gagged and bound in the gas chamber. The follow-up "The Ink And The Well" ("it's all written down in this age of reason") got to No.37, and the album "Brilliant Trees" (with lots of polaroids scattered around) was received enthusiastically. Odd and eccentric, but in possession of a brain and an aesthetic intention which was far too highbrow for mere pop charts.

Biggest Hit: "Red Guitar", No.17, 1984
Defining Moment: "If you ask me I may tell you, it's been this way for years..."

SYLVIAN SAKAMOTO
(UK/Japan, two Top 40 hits, no Top 40 albums)

CURIOUS CO-PROJECT between David Sylvian (just as Japan's demise was underway) and Riuichi Sakamoto from the Japanese Yellow Magic Orchestra, spawning two hits which we can't recall. However, we're sure they were very clever singles indeed. Japan meets Japanese - coincidence or not?

Biggest Hit: "Forbidden Colours", No.16, 1983
Defining Moment: Chalk and cheese. Maybe.