SMITHS
(UK, fifteen Top 40 hits, eight Top 40 albums)

Cards on table straightaway - we were never their biggest fans, even though our respect for Morrissey and Marr is pretty far-reaching, albeit nowhere near the God-like status they still hold to this day among millions. Steven Morrissey, a deadpan, spotty, hypochondriac lyricist met axeman composer Johnny Marr through a Manchester shop window, with Morrissey midway through a bar of chocolate, and the rest is immortal history, with their influence as artists and commentators still being felt as we live and type, even though they had done the acrimonious bit and parted company by '87. What planet Morrissey was on between '83 and '87 is still a case which has baffled astronomers and psycho-analysts for years, but he was never the happiest of souls concerning the lot he inherited during the decade which built him up as both hero and anti-hero to bloody loads. His usually morose, sometimes hateful, often witty, always unstructured pieces of poetry were put to music by Marr (this was the key - such an off-the-wall, non-conforming writer needed a musician beyond the averagely intelligent to make his point properly) and a great paradox was born - Marr put happy, instantaneous hooks to his colleague's grumpy, pained outpourings. 

FLOWERS

The result was phenomenal. "This Charming Man" ("I would go out tonight, but I haven't got a stitch to wear") kicked it all off on the famed Rough Trade label in '83, followed by the exceptional "What Difference Does It Make?"  ("all men have secrets and here is mine, so let it be known") which heralded the infamous incident where Morrissey first started chucking flowers around on TOTP. His depressive tendencies had many a pop ignorer on permanent watch, with "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now" ("I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour, but heaven knows I'm miserable now") gaining their first Top 10 place (and one of only two - no-one except diehards bought their songs, hence middling chart entry positions followed by rapid decline), and the weird, engaging semi-hits kept coming. "William, It Was Really Nothing" ("would you like to marry me and if you like, you can buy the ring") was next, famous for Morrissey's infamous shirt-ripping stunt on TOTP, revealing the black-markered legend 'MARRY ME' on his puny, hairless torso, before '85 emerged and arguably the finest moment of the Morrissey/Marr workshop reared its head. "How Soon Is Now?" ("I am the son, I am the heir, of a shyness that is criminally vulgar") put Morrissey's pained voice over a glorious, never-bettered backing track by Marr, shimmering and drizzled with mystique, clocking in at over six minutes and entrancing anyone with a sober enough disposition to lend an ear. Nothing from their future catalogue touched it, despite the continuing array of miserable enlightenment which strayed from Morrissey's pen and Marr's plectrum.  

GLARING

In '86 came "Panic" ("hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ") which beautifully supplied that unique Smiths contradiction - melancholy Morrissey meets jangly, positive Marr. It was quite exceptional. "Ask" was less good, though was memorable for having dead sitcom actress Yootha Joyce on the sleeve, and into '87 by now, "Shoplifters Of The World Unite" caused many a pointmissing watchdog bod to slam them for supposedly encouraging kids to pinch things. Their second and final Top 10 hit was "Sheila Take A Bow" ("throw your homework on to the fire, come out and find the one that you love") which was also synonymous with Morrissey glaring homicidally at a teenage girl who dared to whoop during a quieter bit on the TOTP mime. "Girlfriend In A Coma"  ("I know, I know, it's serious") was instantly placed on the hospital radio banned list, and two less recallable singles later, the deed was done. Just to complete the achievement roll of honour, seven of their eight critically-acclaimed albums made the Top 10.  

FRESH

Morrissey did his samey solo stuff and Marr teamed up with New Order and (initially) Pet Shop Boys protagonists to do Electronic. Other great Morrissey idiosyncrasies still remain wonderfully fresh - the spiky hair, the outbursts (Thatcher, meat eaters, Band Aid, royalty), the heroes (James Dean, Oscar Wilde, Billy Fury), the backstroke dancing and the NHS specs. Andy Rourke and Mike Joyce on drums and bass were also there of course, not that anyone dared notice for fear of missing something, though they got their bit of recognition following a grotty court case over unpaid and unshared royalties in the late 90s, which they won over the two songwriters. Every indie band and every arse- shaking guitar combo cite the Smiths as immeasurable influences. Their importance and sheer originality should never, ever be underestimated, even if like us, you sometimes found them a bit too much to bear.

Biggest Hit: "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now", "Sheila Take A Bow", both No.10, 1984 and 1987
Defining Moment: 'MARRY ME'.

Matt