MAC BAND FEATURING THE McCAMPBELL BROTHERS
(US, two Top 40 hits, no Top 40 albums)

Yank collaboration project of '88, achieving so-so success but providing next to no abiding memories. We know very little about them. Anyone?

Biggest Hit: "Roses Are Red", No.8, 1988
Defining Moment: None, yet.

KIRSTY MacCOLL
(UK, three Top 40 hits, one Top 40 album) 

Willowy, croaky and utterly fine redhead songstress, the daughter of late folk singer Ewan MacColl and married to top producer Steve Lillywhite who also gained big plaudits as a gifted writer, penning Tracey Ullman's melodic No.2 smash "They Don't Know", which MacColl herself had released as an unknown back in '79, continuing her on-tape association with the song by providing backing vocals for Ullman. MacColl first hit the charts with the fun-for-all "There's A Guy Works Down The Chip Shop Swears He's Elvis" in '81, which heralded an odd career seemingly based upon a four-year Olympic Games come-round policy. Her magnificent, gender-altered cover of Billy Bragg's "A New England" ("I loved you then as I love you still, though I put you on a pedestal, you put me on the Pill") in '85 took her to No.7, helped along by a video set in a fairground and the irony of singing about contraception while she was, at the time, extremely pregnant, grinningly pointing to her expanding midriff in the video as she mimed the Pill line. Then, barring her one-off guest artiste slot on the Pogues' "A Fairytale Of New York" ("you scumbag, you maggot, you cheap lousy faggot"), still justifiably held up as the best Christmas single of the last 20 years, and a No.2 hit in '87, she disappeared for another four years until '89, when her cover of the Kinks' beautiful "Days" ("days I remember all my life, days when you can't see wrong from right") reached No.12. Her 90s career has been largely non-commercial, though she released the outstanding New York crime scene tale "Walking Down Madison" in '91 and also backed up Bragg on his embrace-all singalong "Sexuality". Though the frequency of her hits would point in the opposite direction, she was a genuine star, a woman inspired by the real world and a national institution, and her tragic death just before Christmas 2000 while on holiday in Mexico was very, very upsetting. She was only 41.

Biggest Hit: "A Fairytale Of New York", No.2, 1987
Defining Moment: Calling Shane MacGowan a scumbag, and not getting glassed for it.

MICHAEL McDONALD
(US, three Top 40 hits, one Top 40 album)

High-pitched Doobie Bro' whose solo career consisted primarily of fully credited but essentially bit-part roles in duets, namely harmonising on James Ingram's worshipful "Yah Mo B There" in '85 and playing the pained, defensive man on Patti Labelle's head- splitting slowie "On My Own" a year later, which ultimately suffered from Spitting Image syndrome. His one true solo hit was the cluckily pleasant "Sweet Freedom" ("shine light on me") in '86 which got to No.12 and was released purely to coincide with a hastily lumped together, all-inclusive Greatest Hits album.

Biggest Hit: "On My Own", No.2, 1986
Defining Moment: As with Patti..."hold a chicken in the air, stick a deckchair up your nose..."

BOBBY McFERRIN
(US, one Top 40 hit, no Top 40 albums)

Ultra-optimistic Yank home-made popmaker whose voice provided all the backing tracks on his songs. The slightly sick-making whistle-fest "Don't Worry Be Happy" ("here's a little song I wrote, you have to sing it note for note") shot to No.2 in '88, not unexpectedly, aided by that relax-in-rocking-chair video. But the novelty wore off pretty swiftly when he again used a larynctical monopoly on follow up "Thinking About Your Body", as it flopped. We had got wise quickly. However, it still reached a big audience, as he re- recorded it (presumably as he was strapped for cash) as "Thinking About Your Chocolate" for a Dairy Milk advert which ran on British TV screens for years. His album peaked at a mere No.92, which shows just how quickly you can go off someone.

Biggest Hit: "Don't Worry Be Happy", No.2, 1988
Defining Moment: The whistling...

FREDDIE McGREGOR
(Jamaica, one Top 40 hit, no Top 40 albums)

Bog-standard, smiley Caribbean soullie responsible for the reggae ballad "Just Don't Want To Be Lonely" which reached No.9 in '87. Lyrically it was flawed, as the title was repeated every second line in the close-to irritating hook, a la "Just What I've Always Wanted", and as a result, no-one listened to the rest of the lyrics.

Biggest Hit: "Just Don't Want To Be Lonely", No.9, 1987
Defining Moment: "La la la, la la la, la la la la la laaaaa, I just don't want to be lonely..."- that's how everyone sang it.

MALCOLM McLAREN
(UK, six Top 40 hits, two Top 40 albums)

Bonkers-in-the-nut ex-Pistols boss whose solo career throughout the decade altered between the experimentally daring and the eccentrically brilliant. First-glance naffness from him subtly changed into genial pop expertise after a few listens - to wit: the daft "Buffalo Gals" ("three buffalo girls go round the outside, round the outside, round the outside...") in '82, which made No.9, and "Double Dutch" ("oo-ooombaba, ooombaba, baba, ooombaba...") a jiggly piece of tatty pop brilliance complete with swirling hoop sound effects and gospelly female crescendo. Then came the more experimental stuff - guest vocalists aplenty as he ambitiously re-created authentic opera in five minutes with "Madam Butterfly (Un Bel Di Vedremo)" ("calling butterfly, Madam Butterfly...") which featured a male narrator, a female lead and an uplifting soprano piece of pretentiousness of the highest calibre. The curly-topped weedster himself proclaimed that the likes of Wham! and Nik Kershaw (whom he had already described as "stodgy and boring" and "wimpy" respectively) would "have to try much harder" as a result of this effort, which got to No.13. The rest of his uppercrust offerings were too bizarre to make the full grade, really, though in '89 he came up with one of the best song titles in history - "Something's Jumpin' In Your Shirt". Still a chain-smoking authority on all matters musical, even though he looks like he is talking to his ankles when interviewed, and provided light-relief factor among the tiresome political deadbeats when he ran for Mayor of London. Unique, incisive and hard to imagine a pop world without him.

Biggest Hit: "Double Dutch", No.3, 1983
Defining Moment: "Swing your partners now!"

MAGNUM
(UK, three Top 40 singles, five Top 40 albums)

Relentless rock mid-tablers from Birmingham whose albums earned them a fortune around their occasional flirtation with the singles countdown, which only allowed for hard-nosed black T-shirt sorts to bump up the chart positions. They released a double single in '80 which just missed out, then more or less forgot about it for eight years when suddenly, they reached the Top 40 on three consecutive occasions, with "Start Talking Love" getting the highest spot at No.22. Not megastars, even within their own genre, but consistent with their albums and well-liked.

Biggest Hit: "Start Talking Love", No.22, 1988
Defining Moment: Sudden success.

MAI TAI
(Netherlands, two Top 40 hits, no Top 40 albums)

Chirrupy chick threesome who scored two impressive Top 10 hits in '85, both of which embraced an indelicate combination of slick pop with a soully undercurrent. Their chorus harmonies let them down, with the three proving during equally shared solo bits that their voices were very different - one was growly, one high-pitched and one croaky and unintelligible. First up was the engaging and bright "History" ("our love is history, gonna burn the letters you were sending me") which peaked at No.8 and included some not greatly rehearsed choreography which was barely going to challenge future regiments like Five Star. The follow-up, the slightly more clunky "Body And Soul" ("I need your love tonight, not just a hand to hold") managed an unworthy but admirable No.9 position before they made their exit. Fly-by-nights, but while they were around, they were good fun.

Biggest Hit: "History", No.8, 1985
Defining Moment: "Gonna burn 'em up, gonna burn 'em up, gonna burn 'em burn 'em burn 'em..."

MAISONETTES
(UK, one Top 40 hit, no Top 40 albums)

Bland soul sorts whose one stab at stardom came in the shape of "Heartache Avenue" in '82. The bumped up No.7 placing made them another victim of one-hit wonder syndrome, and they were never seen again.

Biggest Hit: "Heartache Avenue", No.7, 1982
Defining Moment: The song.

MAN TO MAN MEET MAN PARRISH
(US/UK, one Top 40 hit, no Top 40 albums)

Yank duo Man To Man had twice got zero moolah out of their camp, sleazy single "Male Stripper" ("strip for me babe, strip for you, strip for me cause I want you to") until early '87 when, with the aid of remixer Man Parrish, the thumping drums and bass riffs for serious sauce measure finally grabbed hold of enough ears and wallets to get to No.7. Once more, nothing followed it up. TOTP had some greased up Chippendale sort pretending to unclothe throughout the mime, which got the less liberal residents of Tunbridge Wells hurtling towards the Basildon Bond yet again, though the fickle feminist section of society kept quiet because they wanted to watch the show. Funny, that.

Biggest Hit: "Male Stripper", No.7, 1987
Defining Moment: The debate about how the feminists kept schtum - what if it had been about a woman stripper?

MANCHESTER UNITED
(UK, two Top 40 hits, no Top 40 albums)

Old Trafford's finest (well, in '83 and '85 they were also-rans, actually) did the usual tripalong to the recording studio after reaching the Cup Final to record the regulation dirgey, tuneless trash to extract more money out of their loyal supporters. Which Manchester United are particularly good at. The first one, pre-Wembley '83 and a replay win over Brighton (following THAT legendary Gordon Smith miss), was "Glory Glory Man United", which their fans still sing between prawn sandwiches, though the second was good enough (apparently) for a Top 10 slot. "We All Follow Man United" reached No.10 on the back of Norman Whiteside's winner over Everton, who also did worse in the chart battle. Amazingly, they got to No.1 in '96 with a self-congratulatory bastardisation of Status Quo's "Burning Bridges" as they won the double, which made us all do something we never, ever anticipated - yearn for the original. The only way a Manchester United song could sound worse would be if they invited David Beckham's missus to do lead vocal.

Biggest Hit: "We All Follow Man United", No.10, 1985
Defining Moment: "And Smith must score, and he hasn't scored, and Bailey has saved it...!"

MANIC MC'S FEATURING SARA CARLSON
(UK, one Top 40 hit, no Top 40 albums)

Drawn a blank here. The hit was called "Mental" and, combining that with the seriously shoddy name of the dudes involved, we reckon it was crap of the highest order. An e-mail address is kicking around should you have some light to shed.

Biggest Hit: "Mental", No.30, 1989
Defining Moment: Nope.

MANTRONIX
(US/Jamaica, two Top 40 hits, one Top 40 album)

We'll skate over this, as their 80s stuff was unmemorable to the punter (though influential on the progress of dance music) but they had a good year in '90, when they recruited British vocalist Wondress to guest at the microphone and scored two Top 10 beauties with "Got To Have Your Love" and "Take Your Time". That's more like it, so no need to dredge up a commercially unsuccessful past.

Biggest Hit: "Bassline", No.36, 1986
Defining Moment: 1990.

KELLY MARIE
(UK, three Top 40 hits, no Top 40 albums)

Any 80s retro jock worth his salt will have one Kelly Marie record in his collection, and, of course, it's the cheesed-to-the-eyeballs "Feels Like I'm In Love" ("my head is in a spin, my feet won't touch the ground, because you're new to me my head goes round and round") which epitomised the early 80s spell of post-disco, trashy, dim pop, with that brain shattering vocal, glissando piano thumping away frenetically and those coronary sound effects on the optimum line which, frankly, can be regarded as genius as well as a source of cringeworthy amusement. Marie, now almost certainly a cruise liner cabaret, dressed in glittery clobber and had a shock of red hair later to be copied undeliberately by Carol Decker of T'Pau. It got to No.1, of course it did, though the two charting follow-ups were samey and, therefore by definition, less good, which wasn't exactly a shock. When melody and lyrical artistry go out of the window in pop, you can still make a bona fide classic which people will begrudgingly like providing it's fun and induces muscular exertion, and that's exactly what happened here. Top lass.

Biggest Hit: "Feels Like I'm In Love", No.1, 1980
Defining Moment: "My heart it beats like a drum..." booboo! booboo! booboo! booboo!...

TEENA MARIE
(US, two Top 40 hits, no Top 40 albums)

Not a clue. One hit made the Top 10 in '80, and it was called "Behind The Groove", while the other, less successful offering was "I Need Your Lovin'". If this prompts some histrionics from you, we'd love to publish them.

Biggest Hit: "Behind The Groove", No.6, 1980
Defining Moment: Can't help, yet

MARILLION
(UK, twelve Top 40 hits, seven Top 40 albums)

Progressive rocksters who arrived about six years too late, but thanks to the undoubted charisma and bluff, semi-petrifying charms of frontman Fish (aka Derek Dick) they achieved a sizeable and impressive catalogue of hit singles, many of which were in the lower reaches but still got ovatory plaudits from the industry and the critics alike. Fish, tattooed, oft-kilted and earlobe-crucifixed, cut an odd figure ahead of four gifted backers rendered practically anonymous by their boorish leader and vocalist. His lyrics often entered the realms of whimisical slow-motion cornfield running, stamped with romanticism and hard situations, making him an occasional figure of pretentious mockery but mainly allowing him considerable credit as a truly original writer of soulbearing proportions. When his romanticism was ditched though, the songs were often lifeless and over-complicated. The initial 83-84 era is largely forgettable, with the likes of "Assassing" (with "tongue forged of eloquence" reference still baffling to this day) being the last dippy and tat single of a not great opening era, with the additional point of order that Fish felt himself worthy and seasoned enough to make up words of his own. The accompanying photo of him apparently biting a snake didn't exactly assist, and the punters wasn't ready for them at the time. The '85 return, however, was spectacular, lucrative and artistically gratifying. Definitive ballad "Kayleigh" ("do you remember dancing in stilettoes in the snow, do you remember you never understood I had to go") was a three or so minute tale of outstanding, lovelorn regret for a relationship which went wrong, with Fish delivering words of joyful memories of what life was like with the eponymous lady before he did something to arse it up. It rocketed to No.2, with TOTP uniquely stopping the Top 10 countdown at that point to introduce their performance, as if they really wanted the song to go that one further step. The high was maintained by the slightly less emotional "Lavender" ("when I heard the sprinklers whisper, shimmer in the haze of summer lawns") in which Fish re-hashed the trad.arr 'dilly dilly' kindergarten favourite in a belting chorus of soft rock power, while still wibbling up with equal conviction in the sappy, piano-only verses. Memorably, he also lost his voice for one TOTP (though as he was miming, it shouldn't have mattered) so he assured himself of a place in the show's idiosyncratic catalogue by writing the words on a gigantic drawing pad and encouraging the audience to sing for him. It reached No.5, and by the end of '85, Marillion were on the shortlist for the most successful band of the year, with the album "Misplaced Childhood" soaring to No.1. The next step came in '87, where Marillion initially upped the tempo again with so-so success. "Incommunicado" got to No.6, but sounded in places like a synthed and speeded-up "Seven Seas Of Rhye" and wasn't great. The two ballads which followed, however, were in danger of putting "Kayleigh" to shame in terms of merit, if not chart position. The gorgeous "Sugar Mice" ("so if you want my address it's number one at the end of the bar") had Fish back in tear-jerking storyteller mode about how he'd ballsed up another relationship and couldn't hack it as an estranged hubby and dad, and took on a more daring, complex arrangement of wibble, power, reflective bridge and ending with wibble again. It was one of those songs which you'd have loved to have seen being recorded. "Warm Wet Circles" then reached an identical No.22 (how "Sugar Mice" never got higher we'll never know) before Fish decided the following year that he'd had enough and flounced out, inheriting a messy split with the record company in the process. The anonymity of his comrades suggested that no Fish meant no Marillion, but that was not the case. The last two years of the decade saw the odd release of last-gasp Fish stuff before the band introduced the much more introverted (ie, dull) Steve Hogarth as their new singer, and while the simplicity of the tunes improved their cross-demographic potential, the character of the band had gone forever, though they soldier on barely noticed to this day. Fish's solo career disappeared down the bog pretty sharply, proving that not only could no Fish mean no Marillion, but also that no Marillion could mean no Fish. But while it lasted, and when they got it right, they were untouchable. Gripping stuff to hear and watch. Oh, and they were possibly the first band on TOTP to use one of those guitars with two handles.

Biggest Hit: "Kayleigh", No.2, 1985
Defining Moment: "By the way, didn't I break your heart, please excuse me, I never meant to break your heart, so sorry, I never meant to break your heart, but you broke mine..."