HAZEL O'CONNOR
(UK, three Top 40 hits, two Top 40 albums)

Tall, rainbow-barneted scary sort who didn't seem too sure whether she wanted to be a wine bar diva or belligerent punkette, as she managed a bit of both in a singing career which was effectively over by '81 but still talked about, not always kindly, for years to come. "Eighth Day" was the debut hit in '80, and remained her highest, though it's with the thoroughly OTT, gap-ridden sax-ballad "Will You?" which she is most associated. She also starred as a struggling singer (typecasting alive and well) in '80 movie Breaking Glass. Credited with putting the final piece in the jigsaw of Duran Duran after she accepted their application to buy on to her UK tour, and footage still exists of her and an unknown, tie-round-forehead Simon Le Bon singing "Suffragette City" during an encore. Still gigging and acting, she's the recipient of a fair slice of recent retro interest and looks exactly the same, to her credit.

Biggest Hit: "Eighth Day", No.5, 1980
Defining Moment: Those sax solos.

SINEAD O'CONNOR
(Ireland, one Top 40 hit, one Top 40 album)

Slaphead, stick-thin piece of Irish ghastliness whose morbid career only briefly poked its head around the door in the 80s, when the easily forgettable "Mandinka" stalled at No.17 in '88. Everyone knows her for the gigantic version of "Nothing Compares 2 U" ("I could put my arms around every boy I see; they'd only remind me of you") in '90, which brought tears to no-one's eyes except her own, and went to No.1. Her form since then has included Pope- bashing, child-rearing, bad acting, making a tit of herself onstage and then, bemusingly, becoming a fanatical member of the global Catholic orderly called Sister Bernadette, or something.

Biggest Hit: "Mandinka", No.17, 1988
Defining Moment: None in the 80s. Try 1990 and that video.

OH WELL
(Germany, one Top 40 hit, no Top 40 albums)

Shrouded electro geezers of no intrigue whatsoever who felt it necessary for reasons known only to themselves to do a quintessentially '89 version of Fleetwood Mac's "Oh Well" ("don't ask me what I think of you, I might not give an answer that you want me to") and nick the title for their pseudonym in the process. Hearing Peter Green's craft technoed up to the eyeballs wasn't great, and it wasn't too successful either. The sleeve, featuring a bloke in wide-brimmed hat and dark glasses, was odd too. The only semblance of notability comes from the production credit given to Westside, later to threaten legal action against a sappy boyband who had nicked the name, hence Westlife.

Biggest Hit: "Oh Well", No.28. 1989
Defining Moment: Not being good.

OLLIE AND JERRY
(US, one Top 40 hit, no Top 40 albums)

Yank duo who briefly formed part of the soundtrack to the preposterous breakdance craze in '84 with the headspin accompaniment "Breakin'...There's No Stopping Us". Millions of thirteen year olds in Ellesse tracksuits got the leftover kitchen lino out of the garage to practise those turns and tear those neck muscles.

Biggest Hit: "Breakin'...There's No Stopping Us", No.5, 1984
Defining Moment: Rescuing the neckbrace industry.

OLYMPIC ORCHESTRA
(UK, one Top 40 hit, no Top 40 albums)

Lots of proper instruments, then. The piece was called "Reilly", which sounds like a TV theme, and most orchestral hits usually are. But we don't know, and our desire to find out is rather muted.

Biggest Hit: "Reilly", No.62, 1983
Defining Moment: Nope.

ALEXANDER O'NEAL
(US, eight Top 40 hits, two Top 40 albums)

PROBABLY THE best of the American male soullies to emerge in the 80s, in that he had a fine, silky voice who could do both heartfelt and footstomp, and never really expanded into a dietitian's nightmare like Luther Vandross, though he did occasionally chunk up but still stayed sexy. Boy, did he do sex. Slicked-back hair, snazzy suits and undisguised rumpo was this man's three-pronged act, including the infamous concert habit of plucking out some starry-eyed chick from the crowd and placing her on his white, silk-sheeted double bed which emerged from a hole in the stage before singing over her while she moistened up in a private girl's area, so to speak. Sex on a stick. Many of the hits were only-justs, though the ballad "If You Were Here Tonight" and particularly the outstanding "Criticize" ("don't criticize my faith, don't criticize my ideals") were great pop songs, with the latter benefiting from a vibrant co-vocal from an unnamed female, and may have benefited more had the spelling of the title been altered to suit the renowned pickiness of the British audience. Kicked it all off by ditching a co-project with pre-fame Prince following a row to make Cherelle sound good on "Saturday Love" at the end of '85. Looked fantastic in his white jacket in particular, and is still doing a turn for the thousands aching to listen.

Biggest Hit: "Criticize", No.4, 1988
Defining Moment: "I'm fed up 'cause all you wanna do is criticize..."

YOKO ONO
(Japan, one Top 40 hit, no Top 40 albums)

John Lennon's widow released the majestic "Walking On Thin Ice" just weeks after his murder, so cynics tactlessly (and untruthfully) suggested she was after the sympathy vote. It only got to No.35, sadly. A version by Fuzzbox eight years later was rightly rendered unbuyable.

Biggest Hit: "Walking On Thin Ice", No.35, 1981
Defining Moment: Her dignity of December 1980.

OPUS
(Austria, one Top 40 hit, no Top 40 albums)

Utter joke bunch of cretins whose terrible, terrible piece of audience-participation artlessness "Live Is Life" ("na na na-na na") was played by Radio 1, highly annoyingly, for weeks and weeks before it finally charted and rose to No.6. The cheers and singing from the crowd on vinyl sounded suspiciously canned, and proof of its irritation factor was confirmed when literally everyone started humming it, whether they liked it or not. Usually not. Sometimes the HMV customer can get it so, so wrong. 

Biggest Hit: "Live Is Life", No.6, 1985
Defining Moment: "Na na na-na na" - shut up.

ORANGE JUICE
(UK, one Top 40 hit, three Top 40 albums)

Now fondly remembered but, at the time, none too distinguished electro act of which fine talent Edwyn Collins was the main man. Of no less than nine releases between '81 and '84, only one reached the Top 40, with the jangling Collins guitar providing an irresistible hook on "Rip It Up" ("rip it up and start again") which eventually peaked at No.8. The return of Collins in the early 90s, with no little success, was both a pleasure and a relief.

Biggest Hit: "Rip It Up", No.8, 1983
Defining Moment: Being undervalued.

ORCHESTRAL MANOEUVRES IN THE DARK
(UK, twelve Top 40 hits, eight Top 40 albums)

Ridiculously-named electro twosome who were quickly shortened, unofficially, to OMD. They lit the charts throughout the early decade with a simple, experimental heap of pop singles, with curlytop Andy McCluskey's semi-tenor voice always threatening to break into full-scale opera at any moment. McCluskey, skinny and single, and performing partner Paul Humphreys, well-groomed and spliced, put instantaneous melodies into the nation's ears with second hit "Enola Gay" ("you should have stayed at home yesterday") using a breathtakingly straightforward G-G-B-C-D-C-B- G-G-B-C-D-C-B (play it, you'll see) riff which is now on a million Nokia ringtones, followed by the darker "Souvenir", which was later instrumentalised for some crappy daytime celeb anecdote show hosted by Des Lynam. Much more of this regulation fayre followed until '84, when the "Junk Culture" album heralded an era where the synth prowess was complemented by real bass and fetching brass, and "Locomotion" ("across every ocean for the sake of locomotion, but I wouldn't have a notion how to save my soul") shot to No.5. An attempt at slowly built balladeering came next, with the gorgeous "Talking Loud And Clear" ("doesn't really matter what we do or what we say, with every little movement we give ourselves away") bringing in a succession of brass and woodwind overthoughts on top of regulation synth drums, and McCluskey delivering a whispering vocal which was not loud but certainly clear. Their crappest single was "Tesla Girls" ("tes-tes-t-t- t-t-tes") which just smacked of over- production and stupidity, and from '85, they were gradually phased out. Sticking rigidly to the formula for two more years, they came closest to another Top 10 spot in '86 with the whimsical "(Forever) Live And Die" ("I'll never know, I'll never know, I'll never know, I'll never know why") which, this time, Humphreys sang all the way to No.11. He then quit after the '88 Greatest Hits album and it all seemed over, but McCluskey returned with new stooges in '91 to get back into the Top 10 twice, admirably. They started the decade as pioneers and ended it as rather unimportant, easy-listening schmaltzers, and are now (unfairly) best remembered for McCluskey's dire 'epileptic windmill' dancing.

Biggest Hit: "Souvenir", No.3, 1981
Defining Moment: G-G-B-C-D-C-B-G-G-B-C-D-C-B...

RAUL ORELLANA
(Italy, one Top 40 hit, no Top 40 albums)

WHY ITALY SHOULD prove to be such a hotbed of weak piano dance we don't know, but this guy followed Black Box (not counting "Ride On Time" in that category, of course) and Mixmaster, among others, into that desolate world of worthless cheese with the sort-of hit "The Real Wild House", the very title of which suggests crapness aplenty, as does the fact that it caught on due to its championing by Gary Davies on his retchsome Radio 1 lunchtime show after he heard it on his licence-funded holiday on some grotty beach.

Biggest Hit: "The Real Wild House", No.29, 1989
Defining Moment: There isn't one.

(Thanks to THOMMO for further information)

JEFFREY OSBORNE
(US, two Top 40 hits, no Top 40 albums)

Facially mis-shaped Yank soul balladeer in possession of a rich, resonant voice but lacking in material which required a drumbeat, hence two sappy love songs in "Stay With Me Tonight" and the much more listenable "On The Wings Of Love" ("up and above the clouds, the only way to fly is on the wings of love") which gave him his '84 peak with a No.11 placing. He kept trying until '86, and also flopped in a duet with Dionne Warwick. His teeth were immaculately white.

Biggest Hit: "On The Wings Of Love", No.11, 1984
Defining Moment: "Flying high upon the wings of love..."

OZZY OSBOURNE
(UK, three Top 40 hits, seven Top 40 hits)

Bat-gnawing icon of metal excess, whose post-Sabbath solo career was in and out, with three middling Top 40 hits adding to the expected clamour for his reasonably successful albums. He mellowed during this decade, and has now become the mirror opposite of his legendary past - teetotal, addicted to nothing except the odd cigar, exercise bike user and opera buff, living in comfortable, picturesque and tasteful country house luxury. Once featured in Smash Hits totally nude except for a strategically-placed exclamation mark. The best hit was probably "So Tired" ("time has come to say goodbye") in '84, but the 80s weren't him.

Biggest Hit: "So Tired", "Shot In The Dark", both No.20, 1984 and 1986
Defining Moment: Dental exercise. Not sure how many creatures he orthodontically beheaded in the 80s, though.

OTTOWAN
(Guadaloupe, two Top 40 hits, no Top 40 albums)

Junky bi-gender singing duo responsible for "D.I.S.C.O." ("she's D - delirious", she's I - incredible" etc) which helped illiterate eight year olds a little but annoyed the hell out of everyone else, though just about the entire youth club would get up and dance at Christmas '80 parties when it hit the stylus. It was No.2 for three weeks, thanks to the Police (justice done there) and then Barbra Streisand (frying pan and fire). Much the same applies to the other hit, "Hands Up (Give Me Your Heart)" ("hands up, baby hands up" etc again), which put us through it all again a year later. Snot-green bodystockings, chest hair, camp choreography, afros. You remember it well, and we bet you now remember it fondly.

Biggest Hit: "D.I.S.C.O.", No.2, 1980
Defining Moment: "She's oooooooooohwaaaaaaaoooooooooh!"