ELAINE PAIGE
(UK, two Top 40 hits, five Top 40 albums)

Tiny, toothy and big-haired leading lady of many a Lloyd-Webber pomp fest, who took her mighty West End lungs into the charts on two occasions, firstly with the CATS tearduct-emptier "Memory"  ("midnight, not a sound on the pavement") in '81, and then all the bloody way to No.1 with permed Scots contemporary Barbara Dickson. The song, "I Know Him So Well" ("wasn't it good, oh so good, wasn't he fine, oh so fine") irritated the under 30 bracket of TOTP viewers for four weeks at the helm, holding off King's "Love And Pride" for three of them. Few performers have ever looked so nervous on the show before, so the occasional screening of the walkabout-through-catacombs video (with Dickson in leopardskin pillbox hat) came as a relief on more than one occasion. The studio audience famously never knew when to start cheering at the end, as the last note of the song went on for bloody ages. Now a Broadway star too, Paige is still making musicals and still releasing the odd 'Songs From...' album, which will always guarantee a bit of extra wedge.

Biggest Hit: "I Know Him So Well", No.1, 1985
Defining Moment: "Looking back I could have played it differently..."

ROBERT PALMER
(UK, six Top 40 hits, six Top 40 albums)

Sharp-suited, ever-so-slightly boring singer whose bog standard early 80s career was revitalised by a kiddywink- alerting collaboration with two Duran Duran members in woeful side project Power Station, revitalising his solo career in the process after he quit the group early on. Spinning the clock back, a mid to late 70s career had been uneventful, before he reached No.33 in '80 with the funky, odd-as-you-like "Looking For Clues" ("oh my") which had Palmer doing falsetto with somewhat lesser conviction than the Bee Gees. The Top 20 did embrace him in '82 with "Some Guys Have All The Luck" ("some guys get all the breaks, some guys do nothing but complain") which was later reasonably covered verbatim by Rod Stewart and ruthlessly bastardised non-verbatim into a reggae dirge by Maxi Priest. After putting his smouldering larynx to the Power Station's brief non-project, Palmer suddenly got rather famous, with the definitive "Addicted To Love" ("you like to think that you're immune to the stuff, oh yeah") soaring to No.5 in '86, courting minor controversy on the flick as the dapper Palmer performed amidst a bunch of faceless, fetish-dressed decorative sorts on the video, to the annoyance of the extreme wing of the feminists club, and to the amusement of everyone else. The darker, sexier "I Didn't Mean To Turn You On" ("I was only trying to be nice, only trying to be nice") returned him to the Top 10 shortly afterwards as Palmer proved he was a dab hand at smouldering snarlpop in what became his peak year. The last gasp came in '88 with the stop-start effort "She Makes My Day" ("I seem to be unconditionally hers") though some of his flops are now widely known - "Every Kinda People" and "Simply Irresistable" (sic) are regularly playlisted by medium wave MOR stations, while irritating, far-too-old DJ Neil Fox uses the "Doctor Doctor" line of "Bad Case Of Lovin' You (Doctor Doctor)" every bloody week on a drab nickname-promoting jingle at the start of his fictional Pepsi Chart. Palmer gained himself a considerable quantity of 'mature' female fans (demographically between Tom Jones and Jason Donovan) and was still bashing away in the early 90s, including a jolly co-project with UB40 on Dylan's strollalong "I'll Be Your Baby Tonight". Famously slated by Rob Newman when he said 'look at Robert Palmer and you'll realise that somewhere there is a non-league football club missing a manager'.

Biggest Hit: "Addicted To Love", No.5, 1986
Defining Moment: "You know you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to love..."

VANESSA PARADIS
(France, one Top 40 hit, no Top 40 albums)

Underage bit of French fluff whose below-consent immaturity was hard to believe, as she strutted confidently, midriff in full view, into the fantasies of many a red-blooded 'old enough to be her father' sort with the squeaky, effervescent "Joe Le Taxi" in '88, which proved a one-off for the decade. The whole song, unsurprisingly, was in French, which proved that even a Euro-sceptic Britain would gleefully snap up cross-Channel product provided there was a bit of a sort delivering it. The guilt-trip over her tender years didn't last long, as she turned sixteen later in '88, by which time she'd buggered off again. A singular hit in the early 90s with "Be My Baby" was her only other noteworthy chart contribution, and she is now famous for making average movies and snaring Johnny Depp, promoting her to the top of many a woman's hitlist. She still makes some music, which is universally ignored. And she is still absolutely stunning.

Biggest Hit: "Joe Le Taxi", No.3, 1988
Defining Moment: Forgive us for our sinful thoughts...

MICA PARIS
(UK, three Top 40 hits, one Top 40 album)

Production line soul sort whose one moment of semi-memorability came in the fetching ballad "My One Temptation" ("you are the one I feel addicted to") though she had two other barely noticed hits and duetted successfully with Will Downing on "Where Is The Love". Got caught up in acid-jazz for a bit, and is now part of the R&B and garage crowd, making the occasional unheard single and recently trying her hand at presenting specialist networked R&B shows on commercial radio.

Biggest Hit: "My One Temptation", No.7, 1988
Defining Moment: The song.

RYAN PARIS
(France, one Top 40 hit, no Top 40 albums)

Uncharismatic bit of French muscle whose sole slice of pop fame came with the enormously grating "Dolce Vita" in '83. Our dim memories inform us that the video was on a gondola, or some form of water transport, anyway. Not that it matters. Always put on the sort of cheap 80s compilation album that 'is not available in any shops'.

Biggest Hit: "Dolce Vita", No.5, 1983
Defining Moment: The song.

RAY PARKER JR.
(US, two Top 40 hits, one Top 40 album)

Hairy-lipped Yank funk chap who added his voice to almost the best soundtrack song of the decade (just behind "Footloose" after a tiebreaker and an armwrestle), even if the film was only okay. The funny, compelling, lectureworthy "Ghostbusters" ("I ain't 'fraid of no ghost") went to No.2 in '84 as Parker Jr pleaded with us to inform Dan Aykroyd and Co. should they happen to find a spook taking a kip on the chaise longue. Confusion still exists over the proper song title - were the bracketed words 'Searchin' For The Spirit' there correctly or not? Matters little. After the film ran its course, Parker Jr had an air of one hit wonder engulf him, but he made a surprise return in '87 with the high-pitched "I Don't Think That Man Should Sleep Alone" which wasn't much cop, to be honest, though it did get to No.13.

Biggest Hit: "Ghostbusters", No.2, 1984
Defining Moment: "Who ya gonna call?"

JOHN PARR
(UK, one Top 40 hit, no Top 40 albums)

Briefly responsible for making people believe that Doncaster was a hotbed of musical talent, the long-haired rock screecher Parr appeared from that famed Yorkshire town to blast out the title song to not-great movie "St Elmo's Fire". Just to confuse us a little, the proper song title was "St Elmo's Fire (Man In Motion)" ("gonna be a man in motion, all I needs is this pair of wheels") which contained an instantly recognisable, flag-waving synth brass opening and a raging vocal from Parr which was undoubtedly fine. With no Top 40 follow-ups and little evidence of a long career, Parr now gets an annual 'lookback' appearance on Yorkshire TV's regional magazine show every year.

Biggest Hit: "St Elmo's Fire (Man In Motion)", No.6, 1985
Defining Moment: "Take me where the future lies in Saint Elmo's fi-yer!"